Never Let Go
by stellaluna18
Summary: What if's in Episode 19: Operation Golden Rule of Love. Would Van have the heart to tell Hitomi how he feels before Hitomi get in the forsaken bridge? Or will she arrive there? R


**Never Let Go**  
by Black Wisteria

* * *

"_Even this insignificant me loved you more than anyone, with all my soul.__  
Thank you for all of the precious feelings you've given to me."**  
- Yubiwa (Ring) Maaya Sakamoto  
**_

_

* * *

  
Please don't embrace my longing,  
To be secretly in your arms,  
Because I'm fine the way I am._

Hitomi couldn't help herself to be furious with him. The seer thought he was different. No, everyone was like that egotistical pig headed king, and how she despised it. Everyone was treating her like a tool, not as a human being. Everyone was befriending her for her power, not of who she was. The real Hitomi.

_Those blue eyes...  
Beautiful foolishness.  
I believed everything about you was a miracle._

Time was going slowly, as Hitomi woke up from her trance-like state. The skies began to darken, clouds barking the same harmony of thunder clapping in the heavens. The girl from the Mystic Moon continued on, on to her endless journey to the forlorn fields of Austuria.

_People ride a gondola, drifting and floating away,  
Meeting then parting.  
A short mid-summer.  
Sadness and happiness repeat again._

Water began to fall in the heavens as the jade-eyed seer ran across the murky fields, longing for shelter. An aged tree, giving all it's best to shelter the little child from the downpour.

_This one-time love will end eventually,  
But I think you will stay with me for eternity._

I better get back. The girl from the Mystic Moon thought, watching every drop of water colliding in the damp soil. She held herself closer, warming herself from the cold breeze that danced in the wind so gracefully.

_A damp wind strokes my cheek.  
Forget everything,  
Break it off;  
And tomorrow, too.  
Even this small being will love you._

A mere thought then troubled her, _Back to where?_ Closing her verdant orbs, tears began to prickle in her eyes. _Back to whom? _

_Please don't embrace my longing,  
To be secretly in your arms,  
Because I'm fine the way I am._

* * *

"It's raining." The cat girl commented, as she went outside to observe the unusual downpour in the fields, now covered with an overcast gray.

Van gazed at the gray skies with awe and with disgust. Placing his gloved hands in his cheek, he began to reminisce the earlier events.

_"I want you to stay with me." Van said; sharpening his guymelef's sword faint-heartedly._

_A loud echo was heard through the windmill as a pear shaped fruit fell from the seer's hands. Eyes etched with confusion._

_"What do you mean, Van?" the girl from the Mystic Moon asked, a shade of scarlet rising from her pale cheeks._

_Drawing all his strength, he stood up, knees shaking with fear._

_"I..."_

_The seer was taken back, cheeks swollen with the color of wine. "What is it, Van?"_

_"I want your Power!"_

_The girl from the Mystic Moon narrowed her eyes; her once timid expression, now edging with anger._

_"If you help me, then we can destroy Zaibach! Escaflowne can do many things! Please help me! Hitomi!" he bawled, his maroon eyes drawn a putrid expression_

_Pak!_

_I deserved that._ He thought, smiling wryly at the moment the seer placed her hand in his cheek.

_Stupid of me._

Why those words anyway? He knew Hitomi would surely get fumed up just saying those words. Was it because...

_"Thank you...for telling me that. Your wings... I like your wings very much. They're beautiful."_

_"Don't die! Don't die, Hitomi!"_

_"You can... I'm sure you can do it."_

_"I apologize...for asking you things like that without considering your feelings that time."_

_"Hitomi, I'll no longer..."_

_"I'll help you. Together we should be able to do it."_

_"He's right. You shouldn't feel the pain."_

_"It's alright, if it's Van..."_

_Because I care for her._

_I love Hitomi._

His eyes jerked, his mind was repeating those words again. Words that he should have told her earlier. Now, he was accepting his consequences.

"Lord Van?" the cat girl purred, stirring from his reverie.

"What is it Merle?" The king replied, making her childhood friend at ease.

Sighing with relief, Merle stood in front of her king and smiled brightly. "Can I stay at the palace?"

Returning her childhood antics, he smiled back "Does Millerna need you for tomorrow?"

Nodding her head vigorously, she clung to the young king, licking him. "She was still nervous for tomorrow she said." Letting her childhood friend go, she continued. "The princess asked me to be with her, just for companionship, since there were a lot of things in her mind."

Stroking her cerise colored hair, he smiled. "You go on and make sure Princess Millerna would be fine, okay Merle?"

Forming a rather big smile in her lips, the cat girl hugged him and said her thank you's then left him alone in the cold mill.

The rare smile adorning the king's cheeks disappeared quickly, leaving a blank expression.

_I'm coming Hitomi._

* * *

The green-eyed seer had been walking aimlessly for hours, making sure that the rain completely soaked her through. The rain soaking all her happiness.

_Told myself for a long time don't go there you will only be sorry...  
Told myself so many times I just had to take a look in those faraway eyes._

_When did I get use to life here? _

_In them I saw a longing for something,  
Maybe I couldn't give you.  
Said it's all in my mind,  
"It ain't nothing"  
_  
The seer returned where she started, she was again in Palas. A place she can never say home.

_Don't say that,  
Don't say that,  
Darling no.  
Don't say anything at all...  
Because I've seen it now,  
Can't pretend anymore,  
"It ain't nothing"  
_  
Hitomi stopped in her tracks when single tear, hardly noticeable from the rain, ran down in her already soiled cheeks.

_Do you know what I mean?  
And have you seen it too?  
Do you know what I mean?  
Do you know?  
And I'll do anything just tell me what it means.  
Cause I can't live in doubt anymore.  
Do we try or should we just say goodbye?_

_It's hard to remember home. Amano, Yukari, Mom, Dad..._

_"Go for it Hitomi!"_

_"The first step at the start... take courage, and step forward as far as you can."_

_"Strawberry cake at Yugetsudo... Kamakuraya's cheesecake... Shonan Honpo's pancake... Jerrat Classico's peppermint ice... and one desert everyday. That'll be enough to forgive you."_

_"Kanzaki, are you ready!"_

_"Hitomi."_

_"Hitomi!"_

_I miss you._

_If you'd rather be somewhere that's not here then you just gotta tell me._

_  
Cause there's so much more to life, than pretending._

Wiping the invisible tears from her cheeks, the girl from the Mystic Moon heard indistinct noises from the bleak alley beside her.

"What a pretty girl we have here, aren't she boys?"

* * *

Van had been running around for hours, searching for the lost seer. The rain had brought him hassle it was raining so hard that it was hard to keep his eyelids up. The king's once unruly hair, now tamed by the rain; his once loose red shirt, glued to his skin. Van was freezing, but he pushed himself more.

The young king of Fanelia paused in his search when he heard a familiar voice, or rather a cry of help in the other side of the bridge.

Placing his soaked gloves to the hilt of his sword, he prepared himself of what trouble would bring him crossing the gothic painted bridge.

_I hope you're fine Hitomi._

* * *

Three vagrant looking men looked at her lustfully, head to toe; driveling at her sight. It scared her.

"What are you doing in this parts milady?" one of the men asked, looking at her pleaded skirt.

The girl from the Mystic Moon didn't speak nor moved. Her feet glued to the ground. Her body didn't react to her command, command to flee.

"Mute are we little girl?" a scruffy man taunted, closing in to her position.

The men's garments were different of what the townspeople wore in the bazaar, earlier that morning. The folks wore neat and simple garments, almost modest; while these vagabonds wore frayed rags, hardly protecting their skin.

The seer's knees began to shake uncontrollably, as the men in front of her laughed derisively at the terrified girl.

"Scared are we princess?"

Hitomi shook her head, freezing from the violent storm.

"No? Then we'll make you feel scared now..."

"Please...Nooooooo!"

* * *

Van arrived at the other side of the bridge, still searching for the recognizable voice. He knew that plea, and hoped that it wasn't what he expected.

Sprinting to find that voice, he arrived in a damp alley, hardly seen by people passing by. Entering inside the narrow side street, the voice began to get louder and louder. Reaching at the end of the alley, his eyes widen at the sight below him.

"What have you done to her!"

* * *

Hitomi was pinned in the cold floor, as two men restrained her arms and legs', making sure that their captive was immobile.

The rain was getting fiercer and fiercer as the leader of the gang began to remove Hitomi's jacket that was fortunately fastened firmly on her blouse.

"Stop it!" she begged as her captor finally removed her jacket. Removing his tattered shirt, he tossed it aside, wearing a taunting smile in his rugged cheek. "Now, Now... don't be shy show us what you got little girl..."

The leader's accomplices whistled and readied themselves for her. Tears fell, but it was invisible in their lewd eyes.

Closing her eyes, she prayed to God that someone would help her.

_Van..._

* * *

His fists tightened as he saw Hitomi pinned to the ground like a human sacrifice for the filthy men surrounding her. Seeing the leader half-naked made him seethe more.

"What have you done to her!" he roared at the culprits. Unsheathing his royal sword, he dauntlessly pointed it to the man in front of him.

"Van!" The seer cried out, trying in all her might to free herself from the men pinning her.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk, You didn't tell us you're taken princess." The weathered man said as he unsheathed his stolen sword.

"Die Boy!" the man assaulted Van but as an inexperienced fighter, Van easily evaded it. The raven-haired king then pointed the edge of his sword to his filthy opponent's throat; making him shake in fear.

Van's rust-colored eyes pierced its ways to the vagrant's gray ones, his blade softly cutting to his uneven skin. Blood trickling slowly.

"Leave." Were the only words that forced the vagabonds to flee, cursing the young king.

The rain hadn't stopped, but it was getting weaker and weaker. Making it easy for the young king to see the seer, who was kneeling in front of him, tears flooding her eyes.

Van, feeling vulnerable at her mere presence, knelt down to her level. He collected her jacket and gently placed it in her shoulder. Even though his hair covered his mahogany colored eyes, the girl from the Mystic Moon looked at them with relief and happiness.

"I thought...I thought... Nobody would come... I... I..."

Hitomi wasn't finished in her sentence when she collapsed in his sturdy arms. As he held her in his arms, he held her tight.

_"I'm sorry if I hurt you..."_

* * *

Van carried her piggyback style as he carried her back to the windmill, rain continuing to fall.

He was relieved. Relieved that the man hadn't tainted her when he arrived. He couldn't let anything happen to her especially when he already developed feelings for her.

But he promised her didn't he? Promise to bring her back to the Mystic Moon? Would he let her?

Van sighed. He didn't want her to leave. Van wanted Hitomi to stay permanently here in Gaea. Stay permanently in Fanelia; Permanently to be his queen.

Van arrived at the windmill moments later, Skies totally stained with an obscure color. Water continuing to fall from the dark heavens.

Van placed her in a sleeping mat where he and Merle slept during the night. It was rather cold and hard when he placed it in the cement floor but it was better than nothing at all.

He started a fire moments later after laying Hitomi in the mat. He removed his soaked shirt and dried it over the fire. After so much hesitation, Van went to Hitomi and gently removed her wet jacket.

Van was about to remove her blouse when he blushed crimson; he then abruptly removed his hands and went over to warm himself in the fire. "Definitely not a good idea."

Now settled, the king removed his wet gloves and sword and placed them near the Ispano guymelef. Sighing, he gazed over the girl from the Mystic Moon who peacefully slept in his presence.

* * *

Hitomi woke up hours later, the rain had stopped but the sky was dark as ever. Nightfall has finally arrived.

Achoo! Her nose protested. Gathering the woolen blanket covering her, she held it closer to make herself warmer.

"You better change you're clothes if you don't want to get sick."

Searching for the source of the voice, her jade orbs landed on Van who humbly sat in a stool, warming himself in the bonfire.

Looking away at her gaze, Van's color deepened into a shade of red and gulped. "I won't look."

_Open the door,  
To a room I've never been before.  
Counting all the books I've read so long.  
Something is wrong, where love has gone._

Smiling, Hitomi was about to remove her wet garments, when she stopped and smiled.

"Van... uh..."

Knowing what she meant, Van tossed her a white and wooly cloth and hastily looked away. "Here, wear this. It's not that fancy but it will keep you warm."

_If I should cry,  
Thinking of the love I felt inside.  
Don't misunderstand nothing's the clue.  
I cry for you cause of love its true._

Catching the garment tossed to her, Hitomi looked away and removed her wet garments. She wore, almost immediately the dress given to her. Indeed, It was not that fancy not a single frill was in place but it made her feel warmth amidst the deathly cold of the night.

_When does love,  
Speak words above evolving pain?  
Like if these tears turn to rain,  
Endlessly calms the sea,  
For you and me._

Hitomi placed her delicate hands in his naked shoulder, he winced in her cold touch; a smile forming in his lips. "It's nothing." He grabbed a knapsack and take hold of a pear shape fruit. "You better eat this, it will restore your vitality."

"Thank You..." Hitomi replied as she continued to gaze at the fruit she has just received.

_"I want your Power!"_

but... she hesitated, turning her gaze to the young king.

_"I'm sorry if I hurt you..."_

Van casually sat beside her while enjoying his drink. He wasn't actually enjoying it, he rather felt awkward with her being with him.

"Did you mean it?"

_If you're so cold,  
If worlds just hold,  
If want to lean,  
I'm here for you.  
If you..._

"Van.. did.."

"No... I didn't mean it." Van replied blankly, her jade colored eyes lit with content.

"Thank You." The seer replied as her hands meandered its way to his waist, resting her head in his bare back.

_If you're so cold,  
If worlds just hold,  
If want to lean,  
I'm here for you.  
If you..._

Van didn't speak. He was speechless, but rather astonishing him more, Van returned her gesture by placing his hand in hers; enjoying her company.

_When does love,  
Create the worlds above our pain?  
Like if these tears were to rain,  
Endlessly for the sea,  
Still you and me._

Time moved slowly but no one moved from their uneasy position. Van, with all his courage gently removed her arms and faced her. His heart thumping loudly.

Hitomi faced him. The renowned king of Fanelia was somehow different. His features soften; very different from the first time she met him. The once egotistical pig headed characteristics matured to become a regal king. An imperfect human being.

Gazing at her emerald orbs, her to his rust colored ones, he began to speak softly.

"Hitomi I..." Van didn't even complete her sentence when Hitomi placed one of her delicate fingers and smiled. "Don't."

_If you're so cold,  
If worlds just hold,  
If were to lean,  
I'm here for you.  
So if you..._

Almost in an instant, Hitomi came in contact to Van's skin; sealing her lips to his.

Her lips felt like heaven. Soft as her dirty blonde hair, Sweet, like the fragrance of newly plucked flowers. He felt happiness, euphoria in its purest form.

_Close the door,  
'Cause the room won't need us anymore.  
Holding our words,  
Just fill those books.  
Sometimes love looks,  
Like if love has gone._

Hitomi parted her lips with his. It was her first time to straightforwardly kiss a guy, and she even reserved her first one for Amano but she didn't care anymore. Van was hers and she was Van's.

Van looked at her in awe, but gently kissed her back. Passionately but not ravenously. Hungry but not lustful.

_So I won't cry,  
Now I know our love will never die.  
If I understand the reasons why,  
When you... if you and I,  
Know that love is true._

Hitomi, once again accepted his lips to hers. Embracing him tightly, never wanting to let go anymore.

* * *

_"I Love You."_


End file.
